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So today was a bad friendship day. I'm speechless for everything. It didn't seems to be the right way.
Angie, I hope you read it when u've cool down.
Just when you thought, that friendship was stable. That's when it hurts the most, it's the pain from quarrelings. Not a physical wound, but one that's in the heart, Leaving more than a scar. It has been ripped apart.
Whats wrong is unexplainable. It is something I have addressed time and time again. Everytime you tell me you are listening & always by my side but then you go back as if u're not acting as u're.
I am tired of the way I have become the friend that does not matter. I am annoyed that you told me quarrelings would never happen, we will become the bestest bestie on earth and yet it has. The way you talk to me & the way you do not talk about anything else.
You said you would be there,I thought you would but ended up lost. I thought we were bestest bestie that would stick to the end but seems like we didn't make it.
The times I wish I could rewind and put it out of my mind & the days I have spent mad at you. & the hours I have cried. The saddest part is u don't see it. You have never seen it =(
Never know what went wrong between us & not knowing why it all have to turn out like this. Never even know how it ended like this. Remember ? Bestie only has 1 and that spells You & I.
You came into my life as part of ALM. You pull me out of darkness when I'm in a confusion state that period of time when guys came crashing in. You let me trust and believe and smile again. Yes Angie, I trust in ur choice & I got that smile back again.
You were the angel sent from above to wipe away my tears when I can meet u up & pour all my sorrows to u. You've always been there for me & I'm thankful.
The first time you look away from me, the first time I felt that I have to restrict myself from pouring out things to you. The first time becos of other things that we know we can never be involved, you yelled at me. It hurts. It really hurts.
But have u really thought about everything ? You said as an outsider, u felt it's seriously unfair to the whole scenerio. You know the summary of everything. But Angie, do u know the whole thing ? How it begins, the body lines & then the endings ?
I smiled and laughed and acted like I've moved on. But my very own eyes betrayed my heart,
I wish you know I never meant to walk away the bestie lives like that. I just dono why it happened like this.
I understand, she's your sister, she's your best friend. Have u forgotten I've got a stand in you too ?
I stood there taking in all the daggers you threw at me. Is it worth it when u dono the whole thing & just purly based on some fews msgs & made things turned out like this ?
The friendship we had. We had to move on like this. As though we just knew each other from scrap.
But I guess im not worth it, not good enough for you. But that's certainly ok since i've been stabbed through.
I'm sure the pain will deteriorate as the time passes by.
Rebecca, this is the reply for you.
Words cant be taken back & its really hard to fogive the mistakes that have been made. We Just have to believe that it can be forgotten. But as on today, regardless if we are still not tight,
I will never let a poodle come b/w the friendship.
It started off like you know how, two girls then best friends and stuff like that. Forever was the deal we made but things didnt turned out as we expected.
I wanted to hate you. Hate you for the things u said & things u didn't admit. My heart won't allow but I dearly wish I could. So you tell me how ?
I ripped my heart in two. I can't believe my ears & msgs u replied as my heart is pumping hurt. It sounds as though u think u have no wrongs at all. Stand in my shoe. I can't believe your words, treating me like dirt.
How could you do this to me? How could you make me cry? How could you say & do things that you know might hurt me ? Probably, " How could you " are the only words you'll be hearing.
The first time we quarrelled to the stage that we had to use harsh words against each other. The first time we have to use ugly & underhand methods to solve problems. The first time after sooo long, I mean years that coming out to talk was the best choice.
It was a childish act to me. Yes it is. I wanted to just hate you for adding on sorrows to me. My heart don't abide me to do it. Tell me why ? Is it because the bondage has become stronger long time ago but just that we didn't realise it ?
Losing grip of a friendship that was once held onto so tightly .Others that are in the process of being mended or at least we thought they were. Things got better for awhile there but came to a stop now.
Yes, I escaped from problems. I'm a full-time coward when I comes to r/s problems. But if u were me, will u act the same way as me ? Will u ask ur friends to pass msgs around rather than telling him right at the face ?
People you trust will let you down & friends you care for will make you mad. The smile on my face turns to frown.
People will lie & make up rumors & friends will talk behind your back. People will show there true colors and things will go wrong.
But I told myself to remember, it's all for a reason. To you, to her to everyone or outsider, it may seems like it was so totally unfair. Have u ever stand into my shoes and think ? You just said anything that comes to ur mind. Said things that u think it might help.
Girl, this is what u think. But it doesn't imply that whatever u think might benefits or do other's good. It doesn't matter anymore. My heart is dead.
All that it is, is a lost friendship & pieces of a heart. How could you do this to me ? I never wanted both. You don't understand me.
They said : " Smile & everything will be alright. Tomorrow will be a better day. "